i'm just like miss cleo. i am a psychic.
alanna: miss cleo always predicts when people are going to have babies.
morgan: *pretending to be miss cleo* my friend's cousin's grandparent's masseuse's plumber's dog's inmate's uncle. yeah. he had a baby.

brains, unlike some people think, are not smart. this has been proven. you see, alanna's brain, which used to be very smart before it came out, is allergic to the scent of lavendar. our mother, however, did not know this. our mother loves lavendar. when alanna inhaled it (or, when her brain inhaled it) it got very frightened. it tried to escape. it got out her nose, toward the scent of the lavendar. we never found her brain. we think it was eaten by a ferret/monkey, like all things are in this universe. which is my universe. but as you can see brains are not very smart or alanna's brain would have gone out her skull in the back or through her ears or something.

this has been a short story by morgan stewart.

alanna is a very foolish little girl. she kept talking about grail on her blog but no one knows who grail is. Grail is our cat. she's about this fat. about a foot fat. and. she's got a really small head.
alanna: AND SHES EVIL!
NO! she's just grumpy. she's white. with a black spot shaped like a butterfly on her head. and a black tail. she's 17 in human years
alanna: that's dead in cat years
yep. i mean-- NOOO. that's a hundred somethin in cat years. and. we worship and bow down to Miss Grail whose flab almost touches the floor. uheheh.

can we say that?
on my blog?
alanna: yes.
ok we're gonna say it. we have just been on brittany's blog. i feel sorry for that girl. a couple years ago when i met her, her sister was running around the yard with a jump rope, and it went around brittany's neck and pulled off her head and her brain fell out and they managed to put her head back on but they couldn't find the brain. i think a crazy ferret/monkey ate it.
anyway she doesn't have one anymore. and that is why she is making crazy claims like finishing the lord of the rings when she only finished the first part (fellowship of the ring). what an idiot.
but we're not allowed to call her that because she doesn't know she doesn't have a brain.
she doesn't know anything. she doesn't have a brain to know anything with. alas. go to her blog and see what i'm talkin about.
you know. she said she was sad because people on titanic died. she's probably just said because she found out she didn't have a brain.
alanna: but if you ask her now she won't remember.
that's right. because her brain's just starting to function again.
.... wait a second they didn't find it. it's ABD -- Already Been Digested. heheh. uuuehhehehheh. *evil cronie laughter*
and that is the end.

the above narrative has been a short story by morgan stewart. except this time it was true. no animals were harmed in the making of this brain digestion.

ok. i just discovered today.... that i'm a psychic! i really am miss cleo's descendant after all. wow. you see how i know i'm psychic is there's this balance beam at school and the Savage Classmates try to knock each other off it and i got on and i just stood there and they fell over.
I HAVE THE POWER OF MIND! IT IS BETTER THAN YOURS!
alanna: that's not psychic. that's telekenesis!!
THIS IS A TRUE STORY! AND SINCE IT IS A TRUE STORY IT IS TRUE THAT I AM PSYCHIC! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PSYCHIC POWER IS! YOU'VE NEVER HAD IT! AHAHA AHHHHH!!
and this girl in my class said 'i don't believe that higher mind stuff.' and i said 'neither do i. they just think that i am and that i have higher knowledge and that makes them scared and nervous and fall over.' yes. this is true. i have higher mind but not really. BUT I DO!!! HAAA! HAHA!!!! HANGFA HANGFA!!! GANFAFA!! yeah. mmhm. yeah i'm done. but uhm. i need to go post something else. what i'm in favor of is gonna be new. mmhm.

youre a mean mean wohman

I am 58% Grunge.

I am pretty dirty, all right and, I reek of teen spirit... I would sell my own children for a moldy hotpocket, man. Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!

I AM 38% GOTH.

Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my
heart I know I am evil, but not on the
company's time. I do need to eat.

Take the GOTH Test at Fuali.com!

"Results of the Sesame ID Test
Your personality type is: Zoe

You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments. A family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing."
this is who i am NOT.
alanna: who is zoe?!
she's green.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

there is nothing left to be said, it was already funny.

Take the Affliction Test Today!

hey i'm rabies! look at my name! i'm rabies! i'm a horrible affliction! i like butter!

wow! hey! i'm data! i'm android! i'm from star trek! hey do you think they're gonna ask me to come to the conventions? uhhh.... i mean..... hey! my skin is as smooth as an android's bottom! because i have an android's bottom! i'm an android! and my name is data!

one of my eyes is smaller than the other!

"Results of the Sesame ID Test
Your personality type is: Ernie

You are fun, friendly, and popular. You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray."

heheh. funny!! i've been ernie all my life and i never knew it! i never had a rubber duckie, i never got to sing that song! now i know i'm really ernie and it's my duty... no, no... my PRIVILEGE to sing that song. so i'm going to do it. i'm going to do now what i have been deprived a lifetime..... 12 years.
rubber ducky youre the one *evil squeak noises* you make bathtime lots of fun I'M HAVING A SESAME STREET SONG CRAZE! c is more kooky thats good enough for me. and i am a cereal girl. mary had a bicycle little bark and a wolf from my friends.

ee ee shake your booty. do you remember your song. alanna don't type that. do you remember your song, though? it went 'eat eat eat... eat eat eat.... eat your foody' that was alanna's first parody. aha *tear* not really
alanna: alanna and LAYLEE'S first parody.
LAYLEE is nonexistant in my blog. just like you will be soon if you do not hush up! *cracks the whip*
*crack crack*
well i was thinkin about music the other day. actually alanna was talking about christian music. and i realized i've never heard any before. so i made up my own. here's the first song i made up that was chrisitan music.
"heck heck heck he went to heck"
isn't that wonderful? isn't that poetry
alanna: its the tune of 'duke duke duke duke of earl' from that movie. what movie? i dont remember. it had steve martin upon it.
and the other one went "baaaastard chiiiiiild" not that i'm making fun of christian music
alanna: you so are
i don't know any! i made up some and it ended up to be kinda funny. i didn't mean it to be.
alanna: you so did
like my parodies of rap. remember my Pablo raps? here they are.
"yo maaaaaa what's in the cookie jar nothing's in the cookie jar bum bum yo maaaaaa cuz i'm begging for some sweets and i really got eats yo maaaaaaaaaa" and it sounds like 'i've really got eat your mom' but thats not wait its saying! its saying 'yo maaa' and then it goes "hey yoooo wheres the cookie dough" did we make any other pablo raps.
alanna: is that the end?
no i remember we did. something about how the pablo sauce was good.
alanna: is that it?
no. .....
*whispers* that's it.

long long long long ago... people were really stupid. there were one time before the human brain had evolved when fish were the dominant animal. and cucumbers were the dominant porpoise. because pickles hadn't been invented yet. one day a fish came to town. it was a catfish named puss. (once i named a catfish puss that i had caught in the pond and then they cooked it and ate it and i was sad) he was a devious puss. this puss--
alanna: HES A CATFISH
SHHH!!! QUIET, FOOL! anyway. this puss decided he'd landed on a town o' suckers. and at the human meeting where they banged heads together, not because they thought it made them tough, but because they didnt have any nervous system yet developed to let them know that it hurt. they had no brainpower. they had no brain. the human brain hadnt evolved yet. and that's when puss hid in the bushes before fish couldnt get out of water and said in an ominous voice, "i am an ominous voice! i am telling you people 'you must climb to the moon!' and let it never be said that i am the door!!" and then puss giggled. and that ruined the entire ominous plan. but the giggle hadn't evolved yet and the people didnt know what they were hearing. they thought it was ominous.
anyway they didnt know what the moon was. it hadnt evolved yet. so they looked around for a moon.
guy #1: hey, you the moon?
guy #2: well well no i aint the moon. hey woman, you the moon?
woman: i aint the moon.
guy #2: whats that stuff down there? is that the moon?
as you can see, they weren't very intelligent. they hadn't evolved yet. anyway, they went on a continuous search for the moon. and then they kept going. searching. and it went on forever. this group of people died. they spent their whole lives searching but they never found it. that's pathetic. since these people didnt live, we evolved from the dominant fungi.
alanna: porpoises!
porpoises. anyway. human beings didnt evolve from human beings. that's my point. and fish are still around. but their deviousness and ominousness and pussiness did not evolve along with them. now theyre really stupid. and let it never be said that i am the door.

this has been a short story by morgie poo.

you know those stupid notes they send home? you know, from school? they all say the same thing! 'conduct blah blah blah your child blah blah blah'
once mom got one from art class. it said 'please go over this with your child'
mom didnt want to read the note. it said the same thing that everything said. so she put it on the ground and hopped over it. well it said to go over it!! then she said 'morgan its your turn' then we went over it together. this is a true story. i'm not lying! no really it is. honest to goodness. and all that sweet loving stuff. really! yes.
alanna: heavens to betsy.
heavens and betsy. yes. yes it is. yes. mmhmmm.. yes. hm.

uhm.. alanna..... dont put me on the spot i have nothing to say.
alanna: you said you had something to say!
that's all i wanted to say. about the hair.
alanna: so say something thats NOT about the hair.
it's my birthday tomorrow.
alanna: that went well.
what are you getting me? alanna's getting me a wet bathroom floor for christmas. i mean. birthday.
did i tell you about the christmas alanna put me in a cardboard box and said 'morgan, i've got something reeeaally special for you.'
i would've asked her what it was if i hadnt suffocated.
anyway she said it was more fun when you get to BE the present. i didn't think it was that great. i was rendered unconscious. maybe i even died. that's an experience you don't forget. i recommend you try it some time.
but you'll never live to tell the tale. you'll be dead. like i was. am. telling the tale. yup. again. yup. yup yup. mmhm.

i don't like her hair. it ruins her.

we got you some pickles, brittany.

comment on junk. i command you politely. cuz theres lots of fun-loving junk at the bottom but nobody's commenting on it and it's really making me sad cuz i need some pointers. okey-dokey? okey-dokey? okey-dokey. its a deal. kapesh? kapesh? kapesh.
doesn't anyone kapesh?!

comment on junk pleaseeeeeeeeeee

o

he keeps eating the babies. he's so mean. 'cronus married his sister'
oh god. why couldnt he just kill it like a normal person?
alanna you have to write it all so they can understand the storie. and type what i'm saying
alanna: nooo
'cronus married his sister rhea. and they had many children' uhh..... 'but cronus was afraid one of them might overthrow them just as he had overthrown his father. so when each child was born he swallowed it' DISCUSSION BREAK!
that's nasty! he married his sister. theres a lot of that in the greek literature and junk. and culture and junk.
why did he have to eat the babies? why couldnt he just bang a rock over their heads or dump them off cliffs like normal disturbed greek people?
alanna: cause they had to get em back.
youre supposed to say that later. when we get to that part of the story. there are hoboes at cooper-young! now let me get on with my story. 'rhea was horrified. when the youngest son was born she tricked cronus. she hid the baby zeus in a distant cave so that cronus would not find him.' DISCUSSION BREAK!
oh yeah shes really smart. how many children did they have before that she let him swallow.
why dont you just let him swallow zeus, woman?
now you have to argue with me in some discussion that she was smart or something like that.
alanna: but if she hadnt done that then we wouldnt have any stories!
fine fine let me get back to my story.
alanna: I DONT WANNA DO THIS.
well it's my blog.

read about me, sailor delia!
... no that is not my name.
my name is morgamus. i act like i'm mean to people on this blog but i'm nice to people most of the time. but that would be boring to read about so i am funny. and mean.
people are mean to morgamus all the time. and then i throw things. lana was mean to me and i threw some change on the floor. she was mean to me some more so i threw the door. it was shut. and then she couldnt get in. and then i huddled up in the bathtub. and i hate commercials. they're mean. i hate the belly button commercial where all the belly buttons sing "I'M COMIN OUT! AHH!"
i was thoroughly distressed.
i started seeing illusions. i looked down at my belly button and it sang, "I'M COMIN OUT!"
i went to a stomach doctor. what are they called? diddle diddle i hate it that doesnt matter.
and i told him "My belly button's comin out!" and then he laughed me out onto the street! so did the people at the gap. i need a theme song.
on ally mcbeal they had theme song. then maybe i could laugh them back out onto the street. or.. or.... outside the door anyway. or somethin.
i wanna theme song. it has to make you bounce. i bounce a lot.
bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie fun fun fun fun fun!! cuz i'm the only one.
iiiiii'm the only morgamus!
i'm a wonderful thing.
i'm beautiful i'm beautiful i love myself i love myself
that is my therapy. theme songs are therapy. my self-esteem goes up and down. it demotes itself and then shoots itself up and then everybody thinks i'm selfish but i'm usually nice!

this has been a rant. by a llama calling herself morgamus.
i doubt you should remember any of it.
it would be best if you forgot this whole situation.
I'LL BEH BACK.

Morgan: I like odd people !
Mom: Me too !
Morgan: I'm odd !
Mom: Me too
Morgan: People look at me and go "Uh... Morgan?" -.o <- people
Mom: So do people look upon me !
Dad: So do people look upon me ! So do people look upon us all !!
Morgan: and we laugh upon them !!
Dad: and we laugh upon them !
Morgan: Dance fools dance !
Mom: HAHA !
Dad: Dance !
Morgan: DANCE FOOLS FOR YOU ARE LESSER THAN WE !!


That's my basic life

               wait.....

no it's not

                                this is my Friday

this is the dude. i don't know who he is. it says we're a match made in heaven but it says that about every guy you end up with. how can you be a match if you've never met someone before? i don't like his name. i'm going to change his name to paddington.
goodnight, paddington.

you know the thing about reece's? the middles are very soft like they didnt put em in just right so you can poke a hole in em and they just come out and all you got is a ring of uncompleted reece's. and the reece's says 'darling only the moon can make me whole again!' and then the reece's's lover, which is also a reece's, set off on a medieval journey. it settled the endless war between the Turks and the English.
but they just started fighting again when he left.
anyhoo, that's not important. he tamed a dragon and rode it to the moon. and the cut off a big chunk of it with his.... with his..... he didn't have a sword. he had a.. turkey pan.
that's no good.
he used a......... letter-opener.
and he brought it back to his lover reece's with the hole in the middle. and she slapped him. because.... the piece was in a triangular shape and she could not fit it into her hole. and she said 'now the moon will never be whole again!' and nobody lived happily ever after.

this has been a short story by Morgan Rose Stewart, the most important person in the world.
(and she's modest too!)

oh brunhilda look a happy little bluebird you fershinket mule you!! you been into the sacremental wine again that happy little bluebird has left a happy little doodoo on your hand. i'm in a good mood cuz its friday. alanna says i'm a happy little blueberry. *wastes all the staples in the countryside and devours them*
ok. we're going to talk about my sarcasm.
the number one sentence of the year is "oh, what ripping fun!"
the number two sentence of the year is "oh, what ripping pants!"
isn't it grand.
when i'm being sarcastic about having to go to physical education, i say "oh joy. oh rapture. oh what ripping fun."
it's funny.
and then a teacher says something to the class. and i murmur "i care. so much."
what else do i say that's funny? my friend sara says 'devil them' or 'p.e. is the devil'
alanna is keyboard happy.
alanna: aghewhIEOIAGHLkahgIEIGHkalsd9e4tg93ahwe99339hjghaweeee
STOP! WHOSE BLOG IS THIS?! as i was saying before i was so rippingly interrupted....
we say a lot of cool things sometimes. i don't remember any of them right now. alanna, what do i say that's cool? alanna i want you to be serious. you're just gonna write something stupid like you always do just to be funny and youre not supposed to be typing this. now say something.
alanna: you always say..... 'alanna.... you idiot'
it's gonna be ok, alanna.
i have this friend that thinks i'm 'da bomb' and everybody else is the devil. and i have another friend that everyone says smiles too much. i think he's just a happy person with really rosy cheeks.
alanna: MY MOUUSEEYYYY
husboy.
i killed an ant yesterday. it never hurted anyone.
alanna: hurted?
yeah.
*sigh*
i just smushed it with my thumb. then i gave it a funeral in the clovers. cuz i was sorry. mouse wept with me. you must all curse my name.
that reminds me of somethin else.
in the morning, mom tried to wake me up, and i wouldn't get up. she said 'morgan' meant 'morning' in german.
morgan: i curse my name. i hate mornings.

i do. i really do. lots. do you hate mornings? cracker, you friggin masochist!! i bet you don't even know what that word means. your pale white shriveled brain cannot factor any words that are more than two syllables. HAAA! you're evil. i laugh upon you all. i roll upon your displeasure. you dance around me like idiots. i scoff at you. i laugh. you're the coolest people in the world!! ....except for cracker. you've got mail you've got mail you've got you've got you've got you've got goodbye
by the way.
AGAINNNNN!!!!

i wanna say that i am going to school monday through friday, and its very bad. i never get the chance to blog. and its mm... mean. okay now i get to tell you about all the teachers. ms. spain is my homeroom teacher. she sits on a little podium and toddles around going 'uh......... uh.........' and forgetting what she wanted to say. like a numbnut. what's a numbnut. uh......... i sound like ms. spain. anyway we have this things called "checks" that you get when you're bad. they're kind of like how i crack the whip at alanna.
alanna: AHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA
its not that funny.
alanna: YES IT IS AHAHHAHA
anyway... eeeee. ms. spain likes to give these things called "checks" and all the kids hate "checks" because she gives them a thousand times a day. ms. spain's all right, though. she's going to like my compositions. she said she would. anyhoo, next subject, we have math. we have ms. sullivan.
alanna: the bane of my existance
just yours. anyway. ms. sullivan's not that bad so far. i get to sit in the back of the classroom so she hardly ever talks to me. we have "partners" that we work with. and my "partner" she doesn't talk much either so that works just fine for both of us.
alanna: i hated ms. sullivan. once whitney and me switched pullovers and i'd worn that thing every day that winter and ms. sullivan never said anything to me but when WHITNEY wore it she said 'that's a nice jacket'
oh the psychological baggage you carry. anyway. back to MY blog of the world. next we have... ms. ward. she's really funny but sometimes she says words wrong just like the president
alanna: but say 'plethora' and she'll love you for life!
she said 'usuallier' the other day. HA. HA. once she was trying to teach us about stars and she said the star was called BEETLEJUICE. my friend mariana the nice one is mad at ms. ward, though, because she was very picky on this one question on the test. but that's boring so i'm not gonna talk about it. next we have ms. ransom. i saw her on a wanted poster once.
that was a joke.
ms. ransom looks like one of those extremely nice and polite people. ehhh........... i sound like ms. ransom. EHHHHHH................ *gasp* ehhhh. WEAR A BRA IF YOU WANNA HOLD THOSE THINGS UP. LORD ALANNA. okay she wadn't sposed to type those. anyway. ms. ransom, as mouse would say, is "MELLOW"
alanna: they call my mellow yellowwww
she's a new teacher. you have to say fresh meat. she's a new teacher.
alanna: they call me mellow yellowwwwww
STUPID FISH! now. nobody calls you mellow yellow. about what we were talkin about. i'm finished talking. i'll talk about the classes of people.
first class. my class. our class is of decent people.
alanna: you guys are gonna lose field day
.....probably. anyway. our class is of decent people. we don't have any wannabe druggies. *cough* aaron.
and we don't have any poppets. (populars) we don't have any preps. we don't have any.. stupid people. because stupid people suck. DEVIL STUPID PEOPLE!
alanna: devil?
DEVIL THEM! DEVIL YOU TOO!!!!
alanna: MORGAN TAKE YOUR PILLS
DEVIL PILLS! RED RUM RED RUM
alanna: *shoves pills in morgan's mouth*
they call me mellow yellowww...............
alanna: wrong pills *shoves other pills in morgan's mouth*
anyway stupid people suck. and... we don't have any of those. in our class.
alanna: we have a brittany though
and then in ms. sullivan's class. i don't who's in ms. sullivans class besides anna the not really there. or anna the talley.
anyway. moving on to another class.... we have..... ms. ward's class. ms. ward's class has really cool people. like mariana the nice one and mouse the andrew. that's the stuff. they're cool.
alanna: what about aaron
oh yeah. and then there's aaron. who get's a thousand "checks" a day. i don't think it's his fault. i don't know whose fault it is but he acts like teachers don't like him very much. he probably deserves all them checks because he makes fun of people and draws wacky pictures of people that are insulting.
uh... i mean... insulting pictures. he's mean. i don't like him sometimes. mmm. then there's ms. ransom's class. in ms. ransom's class there are people in them. or lemmings. all of the extremely popular poppy girls are in that class. all of em. DEVIL THEM.
alanna: TAKE YOUR PILLS MORGAN
ANNE BOWMAN INVTED LUAU'S.
brittany: WACKO
MEEEEEEEEE. DEVIL ANNE BOWMAN. AAHHAHAHHHAAHHA. ......now you have to shove the pills in my mouth.
alanna: *shoves pills in morgan's mouth.*
brittany the chinese man: awesome. I BROUGHT YOU CLOTHES.
MELLOW YELLOW....... I TOOK THE WRONG PILLS. AGAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T LIKE THEM POPPETS PEOPLE. GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ok that's over. now brittany gets to read it from the very beginning.

riiiiiiiiiiight. okaaaaaaaaaay. now that we can talk about planet of the apes some more, dad and i are gonna watch the last two old planet of the apes movies tonight. we already watched the other ones last weekend. there's this part in the first one when they're introducing Our Hero taylor to his mate, nova. and she's cocking her head and sniffing him. since she cannot talk, i made up some words for her.
taylor: *wears blanket*
nova: i like your skirt
and that was the beginning of a beautiful thing.
*attempts to sing* its a beautiful thing we made it about novaandtaylor
alanna: MORGAN IS LICKING THE MOUSEPAD.... HOLY CRAP HER TONGUE IS GREY AND BLACK NOW SHE'S EATING HER SHIRT AHHHHH OH MY GOD AHHHHHH SHES COMING FOR ME NOOO NOOOOOOO

i'm gonna blog now. oh lolalolalolalola.
alanna: OH MY GOD I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT SONG SHE WAS ATTEMPTING TO SING BY GOING 'OH LOLALOLALOLA' OMG SHE'S BEING MR. RAINE OUR LADY PEACE GUY IN 'SUPERMAN'S DEAD' ........ AHLGKHAHAHHAHAA

your mother sucks rocks in heck
ohhhh foolish little girl
oh no
alanna wasnt supposed to blog that first part. we have the same mom.
and i wasnt talking about her mom!!!! it was just coming out o' meh mouth.
save my soul.

SAVE MEH SAVE MEH HAVE MEHERCHY MERCY

cake never gets tired
life is made of cake
that doesn't get tired

haven't blogged in a while. i was gonna blog but blogger was down and alanna wouldn't get it back up. isn't that awful. don't we just wish she would just die. oh no we don't! we are here to inspire!!! just like miss cleo! who is actually steve. idnt that summin. the trix rabbit. i had a conversation with andrew the mouse about the trix rabbit. maybe it could be inspiring.
me: who's your favorite cereal mascot? tony the tiger? uhm... the fruit loop toucan? the trix rabbit? count chocula?
mouse: frosted flakes are good but tony is really annoying.
me: THEY'RE GRRRRRRRRREAT!!
mouse: and toucan sam is really annoying. and i don't know about count chocula. so i guess i'd have to say trix rabbit.
me: i feel sorry for the trix rabbit.
mouse: me too
me: cuz the kids tempt him with the trix. they wave the spoon around in front of his face. and then they say 'SILLY RABBIT TRIX ARE FOR DUMB BUNNIES'
mouse: and when they wave the spoon around, they bop him on the head with it and he says 'they'll always be a hit with me' in a really drunken voice.
me: you know what we should do with the trix rabbit?
mouse: what?
me: we should get a better cereal than trix and give it to the rabbit and say 'silly rabbit these are for you'

and then we said a lot of things like 'silly rabbit blah blah blah blah!' 'silly rabbit trix suck' 'silly rabbit they're never gonna give you the trix anyway' and then all the kids would want the better cereal we gave him and we would say 'silly children you're prejudice against rabbits!' and then i give them an evil eye. that's the story. don't wear it out. and then you know what. THIS IS MEEEEE RED RUM RED RUM

alanna's mad at me cuz I can't open & close the back door whenthe dogs need to go in and out.
it's stuck.
ya gotta pull hard to get it open
she said it's not that hard,but i can't do it
beleive me i tried til' my fingers hurt (it's a slide door by the way)
i can't do it
alanna said she wouldn't do it again
now
i'm sad

lana:yer wearing a derdyderdywurdyderd

morgan: o.-

THEY MEST IT UPP!!!

can i have some tilex? *SPRAYSPRAY* [; ...yay *SPRAYS SELF*make me clean tileeeeeeeeeeeeex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYHHHHHHHH
O:



(FIRST POST TYPED BY MORGAN......................................... ............................. ......................................EVER)

and there i was.
at my sixth grade registration.
of death.
it was very embarrassing and i looked very stupid. my hair was all wet because i had just taken a shower.
i felt very stupid. and i don't wanna go to sixth grade.
i'm too young to die!!
and anyhoo, i saw marianna the nice one there. for six years in a row she has not been in my class. i don't think she'll ever be in my class.
anyway, i was so happy to see her. and i gave her a really big hug and got her wet. and she had to tap me on the head to get me off. it was kind of embarrassing.
then, ms. spain wouldn't stop talking about how glad she was to have a girl named morgan in her class. she was nice, though. no, alanna, she did not say anything about you. and thankfully did not talk about her granddaughter either.
oh by the way, ms. spain is my teacher.
brand spankin new.
anyhoo, i had to go around and hug all my teachers except for my third grade teacher because i couldn't find her.
alanna: mr. jackson hugged me on the last day of school. it was a horrific experience.
i just got a really weird image in my head, alanna. now that i will never look at any history teacher type again, i'm going to get on with my life and talk about anyhoos.
anyhoo, that was a really bad experience. not alanna's experience. MY experience. and i never wanna go back to that cafeteria again. i never wanna go in that school again.
its not that i haven't had good memories in it. plenty of my teachers were dandy spandy.
but then there was the teacher that was only there for two weeks before she quit. i understand why, but i'm not gonna get into that. then we had a substitute for a whole week without them telling us what was going on.
anyhoo, alanna just scared the crap out of me. there are little dingleberries all over the floor. and now that i've scared all of you, i'm going to stop talking because this is getting too depressing and you don't want to read it.
by the way...... i still like you, ms. underhill.

AHA! I GOT THE LAST SENTENCE THIS TIME!! oh lolalolalolalola

and so i said i would post lindenwood memories as they merrily roll along. well... a memory just jelly-rolled along. it was about pudding. the jelly-roll had pudding on it. or it came with pudding. anyhoo.
alanna: *attempts to sing* i have a sweet little warm little jelly-roll
well isn't that special. no. ANYHOO......... we had this tradition at lindenwood.... or alanna did.
in the Concessions, we used to ALWAYS sit. in the back seats near the walls and windows. that was our seat in the corner.
*sings* all alone in my own little corner all alone in my own little chair.
alanna: only not.
anyhoo, i wasn't really alone. the lindenwood folk would sit with us.
anyhoo, about this tradition. whenever we had pudding, alanna would take her spoon and flick some on the wall. it was sometimes done outside on the picnic table. but that's not important.
one day, there was a particularly huge slop which was aimed at aaron the addict. he ducked. and directly where his massive head had been, there was a glop and slop stuff right next to some dried up crusty vanilla.
alanna: what are you talkin about
THE WALL. the glop is pudding. and the crusty vanilla is the pudding alanna had already put there.
and we always did say 'LOOK. ALANNA MADE HER MARK.' and that was funny.
but then they cleaned it up and we stopped doing our tradition cuz ms. sue came into the Concessions more often and they watched us closer.
alanna: that's because jesse was cool.
and then they..... made him leave. anyhoo, ms. sue yelled at us once for calling aaron 'kimberly'
alanna: you didn't even tell about the point of that story!!
what was the point of that story? .... it was to type merrily rolling along stuff.
alanna: no, no, no. they were repainting the Concessions the other day at summer camp and they had to scrape our pudding remains from the walls.
ahahhahahhaaha. heeheeeeheeeeeeeeeee. ahglakahha. *literal giggling* anyhoo.
once i tried to flick some apple sauce at somebody and i had the spoon turned the wrong way.
and in my face, was some mushed up crazy cinnamon apple junk. and the assistant principal staring back at it.
*sigh* oh boy.
you can see me later, slaves.
away with you now.
i tire of your presence.
POST!......... POST POST QUICK

I'M SUPPOSED TO ALWAYS DO THE CLOSING SENTENCES, ALANNA THE EVIL PERSON!

i live like a nun in a cloister. diddle diddle. i hate it.
that's my story. it is the story of my life.
isn't it sad?
well then. alanna have we had any funny conversations lately?
alanna: all the time
do you remember any of them?
alanna: not a one
do you wanna post the thing about utaw? have we already posted that?
alanna: i do not recall
well then. i've got half a mind to do that now. and since i've got nothing to do with that half mind, i've got half a mind to do it. the other half.
alanna: is non-existant.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU, SLAVE?! GET BACK IN YOUR CELL!!
anyhoo, now that that's overwith, i was watchin sailor moon reruns. i like my arms fully intact.
anyway, about these sailor moon reruns.
saphire DIED. boo-hoo, we're all sad, yeah right, anyway.
diamond picked him up and carried him around, seeing as diamond is his sibling.
that night.....
morgan: if i died, would you carry me around?
alanna: *sings* because i carry you, baby. i carry you. around.
morgan: seriously.
alanna: *keeps singing*
morgan: alanna, would you carry me around when i died?
alanna: *keeps singing*
morgan: is that the only line of the song you know?
alanna: *keeps singing*
morgan: WOULD YOU CARRY ME AROUND?
alanna: no, morgan. i would not go to the morgue a thousand miles away while i was in.....
morgan: utaw
alanna: why utaw?!
morgan: cuz its fun to say U-TAWWW
alanna: well i would not go all the way from utaw, where the mormans live, drag you back to utaw, after i got you from the morgue, and start my own cremation business by setting your corpse on fire.
morgan: but not stick around because rotting flesh smells
alanna: right.
morgan: so you wouldn't carry me around?
alanna: want me to try?
morgan: yeah
alanna: *begins feeble attempts to lift morgan off the bed. does not succeed*
morgan: *has lots of fun*
alanna and morgan: *mass late night giggling*
morgan: *makes her own feeble attempts to carry alanna around. alas, alanna is as heavy as an elephant dancing on top of the titanic*

that is all.
alanna: i resent that!!!!!!
and then, in the morning, we were awake. still. and dad came in and alanna was pretending to be asleep but i had been sitting up when dad came in so i closed my eyes and pretended to slump over immediately. amazingly enough, dad did not fall for my genius plan.
morgan: alanna's asleep
dad: no she's not; i could hear you guys gigglin
morgan: well she's not gigglin now!
alanna: *giggle giggle*
dad: *tickles alanna*
alanna: *laughs, amazingly enough*
now i'm going to sing a song. oops! we ran out of time. come and visit me at my hut some other time. you can leave now before i crack my whip at you.
alanna: found a peanut found a peanut found a peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeanut

i imagine my blog like a little orange hut with little shrubberies outside. it could be a little hut at the putt-putt place where you knock balls into the little mousehole. anyhoo, it has a little door but its locked and it has a little window thing where you can only see my eyes peeping really wide out of it and there's another little flap like a doggie door that i can stick my hand out of and crack my whip. when i want my visitors to go away. my visitors sit on a little orange stool that goes bobilly-bobilly when you sit on it. it also makes fartie noises. squish squash. and then my sister has a little hut next to me. its covered in shrubberies. she sticks her head really far out the chimney and screams at me. and then i crack my whip at her. i can't really reach her but she's like a puppy and gets scared and crawls back into her hole. you can hear her whimpering.
anyhoo. self? do i have anything to say, self?
yes.
on my right pinkie poor little toe, is a mosquitoe bite bigger than the toe itself. the poor little toe is quivering and being crushed underneath this massive M.B. (M.B. is code. i like codes. they're cool)
my cousin's husband has an ingrown toenail.
*cracks whip* GO AWAY GO AWAY GET OUTTA MY HOUSE
YO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AGAIN!!!!!!! AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
*grunt*

or the non-existant archives.

you're supposed to start at the very bottom.

YA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
YA-HOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

THEY'RE SCREWED.

brittany, i am yelling at you for screwing up my arificives.

i'm going to post for morgan :)

i hate you. *raspberry* :P

this is me talking randomly and not knowing what to say. what should i talk about? alanna give me a topic.
alanna: uh.............
i cleaned. i never clean.
mama made me. she made me get off the couch. the couch is my home. it was sad. but i recovered some old pictures i had drawn. five years ago.
alanna: only it was a year ago
and i only have one thing to say about them. i suck. ed. ugh. boy, and i really sucked. i thought i was so good! everything was disproportioned, alas, alas.
alanna: but i was always proud of you and you'll be saying this about your drawings every year.
okay. what else should i talk about?
i wanna talk about lindenwood again. cuz that's usually funny. what about it? what should i say?
jo was a squirrel turd. i told her about a movie i had seen and she acted out the good ....... samaritan with her fingers
alanna: how do you spell samairtan
i don't know.
alanna: give me the dictionary. YOU LOST THE DICTIONARY.
it fell. down there. to heck. it was baaaaaaad.
alanna: i hate you
i know. *makes wild attempts to kiss alanna*
alanna: *struggle struggle*
OH THE CHEEK ON THE CHEEK
alanna: THAT WAS MY HEAD, FOOL OH GOD SHES TRYING TO EAT MY HAND AND SHE CONSUMED MY FOOT AND LICKED MY ARM AND SHES ATTACKING MY CHEST
this sister......... is the most beautiful sister in the whoole world
alanna: i've concluded that when morgan is an old woman, she's gonna have me stuffed and she's gonna pet me rapidly every day.
THIS IS MY BLOG AND YOU'RE TAKING OVER. YOU'RE TYPING THINGS I DON'T WANT YOU TO TYPE. YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO TYPE THAT! ALANNA! NOW DELETE IT!!!n

i just did a huge raspberry all over my chin, the monitor, and alanna.

*that's when you stick your tongue out of your mouth and blow and spit goes everywhere and there's funny noises involved*

OH THAT'S JUST GREAT! THAT'S JUST GREAT, ALANNA! THAT'S JUST FINE AND DANDY.
........
are we posting? i would like you to know that my sister just shoved a pencil down my throat.
alanna: did not!
shhh!! she did!!
alanna: DID NOT!!!
QUIET, SLAVE! *crack of the whip*
anyhoo. when she shoved the pencil down my throat, it did not have a point, thank goddness. otherwise, i would not have a uvula. that is a piece of a tissue that hangs from the palate which is the roof of the mouth.
YA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YA-HOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *crack crack*


*please go watch 1776 the musical. then everything will become clear.... maybe not.*

:::note to audience:::
you're supposed to start reading at the bottom.
:::end of note:::

*solemn face*

morgan: ALANNA TICKLE ME! I LOVE IT!
alanna: i thought you said you hated it.
morgan: I WANT TO LAUGH. I LOVE IT!
alanna: *tickles morgan profusely*
morgan: AHHAHAHAHA I HATE IT!
alanna: *tickles morgan until the dawn of time when dad makes her stop*
morgan: *had fallen off the couch, had her butt in the air, and was underneath the coffee table at this point.*

i want to let all you folks know that i'm fine.
you see, people tend to ask me if i'm alright. sometimes its a joke when i'm acting particularly stupid. and my friends are wondering if they should ship me off to the looney bin. or maybe utaw. but usually, its because the corners of my mouth droop and my eyebrows go up a little when i stare distantly into nothingness. that's what i do when i'm not paying attention to anything. people think i look sad. you don't know how many times people have asked me "morgan are you alright?" "morgan are you okay?" "morgan what's wrooooong"
alanna: in whiny pathetic little six-year-old voices
.........no. cuz dad does it and he doesn't really sound like a whiny pathetic six-year-old.
alanna: ........YET.
and these are my friends, too! now, because this is MY blog i will continue to talk. or make alanna type. whichever you prefer. now. i want everyone to know that i'm not sad. i'm just bored.
okey-dokey? i'm glad all these people, such as taylor the spicer, or.. dad the dad care about me. that's my explanation for it. dad says that's a good way to look at it. okey-dokey.
i'm fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. REEEEEALLY. GO AWAY. PLEEEEEEASE. DON'T COME IN I'M NAKED.
i can't believe i just said that. heeheeheeeheehee *literal mass giggling*

i had two messages that i wanted to blog.
here is the first one.
i just wanted to say 'Congratulations, Nick!' mom doesn't want me to sleep on the sofa anymore. its all yours. but you need a couple dozen pillows to make it through the night. that's all. oh and dad said i don't belong there. that's why mom doesnt wan't me there. i belong in my blog though. cuz if as long as i have a computer, no one can take it away from me. they can take my sister away to utaw with the mormans. and then i will have no one to type for me and i will post less and less until all that's left is::::::
;]
and the archives. but i'm glad i have a house. buh-bye! ya'll come back now. AGAAAAAAAAAAIN.

*everyone please click the 'morgan' link to the left*
me. a shadowy figure. that smiles weirdly.
me.
BIIIRRRRDDDDDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

brittany -- your music taste is not that different from alanna's.
please stop saying so.
you might lead people to believe these false stories of your's that you make up wildly.
alanna has very eclectic taste, but she doesn't recommend EVERYTHING to you.
i will stand by her on this.
even she is an idiot.
i'm sure that some things you like, she introduced to you.
and some things, you like on your own.
and that's...... okay.
okey-dokey? okey-dokey? okey-dokey.

today on the psychic friends network, we're going to talk about sisterly love.
there is no such thing.
my earliest memory that i'm seeing in the past, is when alanna came in and bit me on the leg. i was a baby. on the changing table. mom asked who did it. alanna, the two-year-old who peed on the floor, said the 'faeries' did it. riiiiiiight. anyway, she confessed to it a week later. probably because she was guilty. you know, having guilt problems.
and then there was when i had curly hair. it was beautiful. i was a ravishing damsel. i was a dream. i was any other three-year-old's fantasy. and then alanna found some scissors.
alanna: it was more intelligent than that!!
our friend, who i like to call cherrio, was playing 'beauty parlor' with us. she had hair just growing back from chemotherapy so we couldn't cut her's. alanna was the one with the scissors, so guess who got their locks trimmed? it took me about three days to realize they weren't coming back. i've hated alanna ever since. my daycare teacher thought i was a boy. that was embarassing.
alanna: you don't even remember any of this!!!!!
it was embarassing that anyone thought i was a boy in the past!!! NOW back to MY blog.
another time i hated alanna was at my first ballet recital ever.
alanna: it was a rehearsal!!
no it wasnt. my friends and i were on the stage looking cute, being all graceful, and alanna and her friends (the older ballerinas) we were in the audience, laughing so loud it was pirercing my ears. i wanted alanna to stop it so i sort of made a face, cocking my head to the side, sort of making my eyebrows go up and down. well that made more people laugh at me. i was scarred. once again.
alanna: morgan wanted roses and she threw a fit when she didn't get any.
not as big as the fit you threw when i bit off your head.
alanna: and to this day we never found the body.
anway, since this is MY blog, i'm gonna continue talking about it. what else have you done to me in the past that's been big? ok i've got it.
these are things that alanna does nowadays. you can sit there and talk to her while she's on the computer and her response will either be 'huh' or 'uh-huh' idnt that wonderful? now we can say some good things about alanna. what makes her a good sister? i guess i'm the only person who can answer that question, right? i'm the only one she's got. isn't she lucky? I'M GONNA TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING THAT'S GOOD ABOUT YOU AS A SISTER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
alanna: people, she's been thinking several minutes and she hasn't come up with anything yet. the quest is over.
...................... ........................................EUREKA!! i sometimes like it when alanna tells me about her books that she's reading. and when we can talk about her guffawing at whatever i say through the whole conversation. and. and i hurt myself on my finger and she keeps putting band-aids on it.
alanna: she burned it off
ANYWAY. i'm typing all these bad things about her and making fun of her at every chance i get to have revenge. yay. *rubs paws together* heheh...... heheh....................... again.

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, memphis, Midtown, Morgan, Female, 11-15!

pincushions is another word for voodoo dolls that you stick needles in.
i'm gonna make one of you, alanna.
aaron the addict said he made one of us and that he fed them cake. but how can he feed them cake when their mouths don't open and they have no digestive system and so on and so forth? really. i ask you!! i askew!!!!
alanna: i never knew he did that.
that's because he didn't. he probably lied. aaron, you're not reading this right now. ......right? don't send him to this page!! i had a dream about him once. it wasn't a good dream. i was fighting him and i tackled him. hey, it was a good dream!!!! and he had these little furry things. and they were animals. and they were the fastest creatures on earth. and me and my friends were racing them (the furry things) and every time we got ahead, aaron would stop us and say we were cheating. we were racing them at my granma's house on the dirt road.
alanna: and she had that dream the same night i had the granma's house dream. funky funky funky stuff.
ANYWAY who's blog is this. and then me and my friends were climbing up this tiny little hill on the pond dam with knives in our mouth like indiana jones. it was cool. then we had a war with aaron and his robopeople and his furry things and that's when i tackled him. it was cool. then i went to fight somebody else and he grabbed onto my leg. cuz he was on the floor. i don't know how, but their side beat us! and i tackled him a thousand times its not fair. he probably cheated. huff puff. that's the end.

this is another lindenwood memory. we lindenwood folk have a plan. well, first i should tell you who the lindenwood folk are. jo the squirrel turd, frankie the genius, mouse the scuttler, aaron the addict, taylor the spicer, marianna the nicest one of all except for when she gave me australian bbq but we wont get into that, anna the almost-not-there, MS. MELISSA the no just kidding, ima the member of the pen15 club, alanna the what are you? and me. the cute one. the funny one. the one everyone loves. but we won't get into that. because i might lie. but here's something that's not a lie. after you're in eighth grade, you're off the hook. you can't go to lindenwood anymore. and alanna decided after she completed eighth grade, she would take the house key that mom and dad had so generously bestowed upon her, walk the two blocks home, and be completed with lindenwood forever. that's something every kid wants to do. unless you're in K-1. isn't that a sweet story? but she never did it. alanna was too chicken. and i probably would be too.
actually, alanna forgot about it. but if she had done it, it would've been glorious.
aaron the addict did it once. he tried, anyway. he walked out of lindenwood, he walked across the parking lot, he walked down the street, and then he got caught. cuz all he did was walk. he never ran. but he's got more nerve than me. he's also more annoying than me, i'm sure. we saw another kid doing it once, though. we thought he was anyway. he came out on our patio and ran away. down the stairs. he was jogging. he was a jogger.
about these stairs... there's the patio. and then there are the stairs to go down onto the ground. on one side there are some kiddie pools. on the other side there is freedom. just turn the corner and poof.
alanna: poof you're in the lindenwood parking lot
but when you get out of that, poof - you're free. course, they send a lot of people with turqouise shirts that say 'STAFF' on them after you with big pointy sticks. and they tell us not to play with sticks, them hypocrites. anyway, that's why we choose the patio as our hangout. and we're not being observed all the time. unless ms. melissa's out there. but she usually doesn't scold. she just talks about WWII and high school and punk rock bands. but that's not so bad. until you're alanna and you get out of school early and you have to listen to her from 2:30 to 5:30 every day. i like ms. melissa. but i don't think alanna is keen on the subject. of liking ms. melissa, that is.
alanna: she's always talking to ME! no matter how many people are there, she talks to me. i have no idea why. and then she steals my CDs and tells me she 'can't hang with bjork' and stuff and ---
OK who's blog is this!? this is MY blog.
anyway about these stairs. you know what its like to have freedom so close you can touch it but you can never use it? its aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawful. NO I WANNA TALK ABOUT MORE! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO TALK WITHOUT YOU NOT TYPING EVERYTHING I SAY!! TAKE YOUR FINGERS OFF THE KEYS, ALANNA!! ok now i know what i want to say.
we engrave things on the table. i don't, but the bad people do. ima wrote 'ALANNA'S GANG' on the table. cuz alanna's kind of a leader.
alanna: but alanna made her cross it out and ima wrote 'FRED'S GANG' instead.
STOP IT! THIS IS MY BLOG!
alanna: even though you just told me i could do that.
yeah i know. but this is funnier. what else did we write on the table? somebody wrote 'jesus' after all lindenwood is a slashchurchdaycarethingie. but somebody else put 'pub' before it. i think that was alanna. now it said 'pub jesus' and then somebody wrote 'loves me' under it in ketchup. idnt that fancy? and then someone drew god in the corner with the ketchup until aaron the addict squished its nose. idnt that bad? it looked just like marsha brady. big and purple and blond.
except it was red. but that's another story let's not get into that.
nother lindenwood memory is the one when i was in the Concessions. i was eating some good Concessions food -- a very rare thing. and everybody around me was giggling. marianna had this little tub of chocolate. mysterious chocolate. everyone was telling me to eat it. i dipped my finger in and bopped it in my mouth. now i know why it was mysterious.
it wasn't chocolate. it was gopher barf with fly guts and the roly poly insides (i pulled one apart once i know what they look like in there... hey i was four!) in other words, it was some australian bbq sauce. it was aaaaaaaawful. it was jo's lunch.
does everybody know jo is a girl? good. because she is............. we think. but let's not get into that.
i'll post other lindenwood memories as i merrily roll along. just like the piano teacher i had at lindenwood. who merrily rolls along. on the piano.
alanna: his name is king george.
STOOOOPPPPPPP IT!!!! anyway. lets not get into that. bye-bye! now let's read it all over again. and they'll have to keep reading it for the rest of eternity because it says 'again' and every time they finish it'll say 'again' AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN

i have a very strong hold on the english language.

alanna: morgan made a blog.
dad: blah i say to the agonizing blahhhg.

its not 1:25. its 3 oclock, alanna!! everything is your fault!!!!!!!! you forgot to change the time zone!!

nothing that's interesting.

but i have nothing to say.

i didn't post anything yesterday. now i am entitled to post a lot.

its too hot in here. didn't you build my house with air-conditioning, alanna?

this one's about my aunt phyllis. she's funny and strange and we all love her. she likes to tell us stories about alligator men who scratch on the window because they're looking for their lost arm which was eaten off by alligators. then she scratches on the window from inside the other room and tries to freak us out but it doesn't work. well one night, alanna wasn't there. it was a very happy night. my cousins and i were camping. sort of. under a tree by the pond at my granma's house. earlier that day, phyllis had told us about the swamp creature that lived in the pond and was nice to you when you stayed away from it. but she didn't know what it would do to us that night!! but we had a plan. later that night, in the middle of the night, as expected, phyllis came rowing out into the pond in the canoe. rowing? more like tripping on water. that's what it sounded like. she bumped into a tree. and then when she made it to shore, we all started shouting the things that we had so carefully planned out hours before she got there. 'your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!!' 'i didn't know dingoes lived in this part of georiga' we got out of the tent and phyllis tried to tell us about the swamp creature that was actually a tree that she bumped into, was trying to tump over the boat. wild story, huh? its not the only weird thing phyllis does. but in all of her strangeness, we think that she's great. we're all strange. i'm the one that bit the neighbor, right?

today at tjmaxx i saw a backpack. and printed on it, was the words 'RUGGED KIDS' how can a kid be rugged if they buy a pink and pastel blue backpack? why couldn't they have made it cow pie brownish green? or... catfood brownish red? i ask you!! blast them company people!!! they'd do anything to make a kid feel tough and cool like the guy in the book i'm being forced to read. well i think we should all have a more positive role model. someone who helps people! someone who does things for the GOOD of other people. someone who doesn't repeat things like i do. no, someone whose real name is steve!! MIZZ CLEO, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!! AND TRANSVESTITES!!! by the way, i'm not going to judge you about that. alanna. ....... that's the end. i have too much air in my esophogus. or whatever.

once upon a time, jerel called alanna. i was having a conversation with dad at the time. this is what it was about.
dad: who's alanna talking to?
morgan: jerel
dad: who's that?
morgan: her friend
dad: her boyfriend?
morgan: no.... there are reasons that that's impossible.
dad: why, does she have a different boyfriend?
morgan: not exactly.

this is my point of view on the evening. my sister's is here.
we had to dump alanna off at borders so she could hang out with her friends and i think laylee was on speed because she couldnt stop giggling. only i don't think she's gonna die. but anyhoo. then mom dragged me to tjmaxx to get new clothes. i got four shirts i liked and i was ready to leave. mom, i love her, but she wanted to stay and get me bath robes and pillows and candles and i kept trying to leave. and then when we finally got out of that abyss, she asked if i wanted to go look at shoes. and i said not exactly. later, she said we had gotten carried away. i had been firmly planted on the ground the whole time. she's the one that went waffling away through the air. and then we decided to go bust the parties of The Giggling Idiots. excuse me, brittany and laylee, for calling you Giggling Idiots. i really do like you sometimes. not sometimes. cut the sometimes. anyhoo, we took alanna away by force and went to eat dinner. first mom made sure that bosco's had cheesecake because i wasn't going to stay if they didn't have cheesecake. we talked about a lot of weird things. but the most fun is when we talked about our childhood memories (even though we're still childs) mom said i used to make up stories when i was going to bed and i would tell them to her.
morgan's story: my parents drowned in a river
mom: *thinking* MY CHILD'S TELLING ME HER PARENTS DROWNED IN A RIVER. I THINK SHE'S DISTURBED.
that was good. what else did we talk about that was funny? we talked about how alanna peed on the floor. and mom seesawed upside down. twice. and i bit the girl who lived down the street. and alanna stole her cat. only she doesn't remember that. i bit her because she was invading our privacy cuz she came onto our porch without asking and she wasn't brittany so that wasn't nice. then her mom came over and yelled at me. really loud. and she wasn't nice. i was afraid of that woman. alanna and brittany said the ground shook where she walked. and then i had some cheesecake. blueberry cheesecake is the queen. of what, i don't know. anyhoo, we were driving home. and we talked about how the car turned over while dad fell asleep in it. when he woke up, he was completely upside down, but oddly enough, not frightened. now my father is a very intelligent man. he's a librarian, now, and not in college. i like his mustache. but anyhoo, the end.

DON'T COME IN I'M NAKED

i am now scarred for life. i asked my father what he would've named me if i had turned out male. he would've named me.... bum bum bum bum........ PATRICK. HENRY. STEWART. that means i would be named patrick henry after some political dude of the olden days. i would be named henry stewart because that's the family name. and i would be named patrick stewart after the actor from star trek!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE WHERE I COME FROM? THIS IS WHAT MY NAME WOULD BE. HOW COULD I SHOW MY FACE IN PUBLIC? HOW COULD I WRITE MY NAME DOWN ON MY PAPERS AT SCHOOL? I COULDN'T. I WOULD HAVE PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS. IT WAS HARD ENOUGH WHEN I FIGURED OUT THAT 'MORGAN' WAS ALSO A BOYS' NAME. LOOK AT ME!!! oh well. my name's okay. at least they named my middle name as 'rose.' that's kinda dramatic right?

sorry to break it to you, jerel. my dad read in some newspaper thing that miss cleo was actually a man named steve. with a cheap turban and women's makeup. because that's the only kind they make. but i have decided to be the actual female miss cleo. and read people's horoscopes from my baby name book. i am miss cleo.... 2! although i don't think these horoscopes are very good. because they were made in the 60s. it says that i, as a scorpio daughter, want to be a loving wife because i want to love and be loved. idnt that sweet. and because i want to be loved, i am going to be miss cleo. so you can dial my new 800 number now. call meh now for your free readin!

this is my point of view on balloons.
i like the round puffy ones the best because they're round and puffy. they seem more friendly than the long skinny ones. if those big red ones were people, they would probably be like a lot of santa clauses. and that's enough to make anyone think they're friendly. and i don't like balloon animals. they used to be long skinny balloons that looked like a lot of pastel sausages and then they were twisted and deformed. i guess you could say i am con-balloonanimalmation. or whatever. what's your opinion about balloons? i'd like to know. i'd also like to know if you think i'm crazy.

WHO LEFT THE TOWEL IN THE POOL!?!
*MASSIVE HULK RUMBLE*
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

alanna: morgan says you're a pig
pj: =(
pj: i liked morgan
morgan: well i liked you too and then you were a pig
morgan: don't worry you can be forgiven
morgan: maybe
pj: how was i a pig?
morgan: think about it really really hard in your brain
pj: i wasent on?
morgan: ... maybe
pj: there 9is no mabye in this chat realm
morgan: well then there can be a 'kinda'

THEY NEVER GET IT, DO THEY!??!

i dropped the book.
THUNK.
alanna jumped.
its the whole thing about cause and effect. so that she can go to borders.
she cleaned. she never cleans.

right now i'm reading a really awful book and its about my side of the beaver. like its not really awful, its just plain boring. cuz the guy is good at everything in the world and its about beavers only not. and the best character is a BIRD. anyway back to the book. i don't know why i'm even talking about it or typing about it. it doesn't deserve to live. the author who wrote it has frogs in her house and a one-legged crow. the crow can slide down the slide and the frogs eat the flies that get by the lamp. the boy in the book doesn't have a frog. or a crow. he goes around wearing dead deer and eating water that has beetles in it. not the kind that sing. its EVIL, i tell you!!! but i shouldn't be so mean about it, its not like i can do much better. look at what i'm writing. you can leave my house now.

found a peanut found a peanut found a peeeeeeeeeeanut on the ground i want to sing a song. from the car commercial. all i wanna do is to thank you although i don't know who you are you let me change lanes while i was driving in my car whoever you are i wanna thank you oooooooh whoever you are. yes i want to stop. goodbye. i have nothing else to say. leave already! go away! get outta my house!!!

this part of the blog has been moved to my sister's blog.

morgan: its a crime the way you treat that cow.
alanna: what cow
morgan: the one on the floor
alanna: i was tiiiiiiiiiired
morgan: *gives alanna glare of disgust*

is this like posting something? i always wanted to say something about the fire at lindenwood. because me and my friends, we like to throw spoons out on the patio and then ms. sue comes out and yells at us because we're not allowed to be on that side of the patio. so we live on the other side of the patio with our spoons. then one day we saw smoke on the OTHER SIDE of the patio. NOT on our side of the patio. we went to see what it was and ms. sue came out and lunked around and yelled at us again because we threw spoons only we didnt throw spoons that time. we think that one of her employees was smoking. no. we KNOW he was. but we always stayed on our side of the patio. until all of a sudden her employee started a fire with his cigarette and everyone died and we all went to my kind of heaven except ms. sue who went the other way. and that's not very nice to say, but i don't like her. now i'm wishing i hadn't said that. save my soul!! no, no. hahahha. my sister says that i'm stoned. is that true? what do you guys think? how about them lindenwood fires? and that's the end.